Bruising

I can tell my muscles are bruised now. Dan rubs the injection site after giving the shot to help the medicine get absorbed into the muscle. The medicine is Progesterone in Sesame Oil so it's really thick. Tonight when he was giving me my injection he noted the bruises on my backside from previous injections and when he massaged me, it hurt, so my deep muscles are getting bruised now too. :(

Overall, emotionally I'm coping. It's really day by day. I'm pretty darn hormonal and can feel my body attempting this, but not sure if it can make it stick and keep anything viable. I'm hopeful but cautiously so. I'm trying to prepare myself for a negative response, but this is nearly impossible to do.

Blood Draw (Progesterone Check)

I had my Progesterone check up on Saturday morning. This means absolutely nothing to me. It just means that my levels of what I'm injecting are all going ok. My results came back fine.

It was quite the treat to wake up after scrapbooking with the gals until nearly midnight and go to a blood draw at 6:30 AM. Even better is that the boys woke up early too and since I'd missed bedtime, they didn't want me to leave again. So I took them both with me. This is a double-edged sword in my mind. I hate bringing them with me because it's mean for the mom's who are in the office trying, but haven't conceived yet, and here I am going through it again. I love bringing them with me because then those same moms see success at it's best and can have a little more hope. Overall, it was just fine. I had an excuse to go to Sonic and get some ice and some french toast sticks.

At this point I try not to let myself feel anything. You CAN make yourself feel pregnant, that's for sure. This morning I was really depressed because I felt like my body was trying to reject the embryos. Then, after some prayerful moments, I felt better. I also desired to have a Subway 3 meat sandwich at 9:30 AM...this is very odd for me. I can tell my body is trying, but have no idea if it's making this happen or just fighting it. 4 days and we'll have the answer. I cannot tell you how nervous and scared I am.

An Injection Gone Wrong...

So we had the best of intentions...really. I was heading to Scrap Night (a scrapbooking store hosts a scrapbook session where you can gab with friends and scrapbook from 6 PM till midnight). My intentions were to just have my friend Jenn do my injection at the regular 9:00 PM. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned. The vial containing Progesterone was nearly out and we were unable to get the amount needed (we= Jenn and Linda...I, of course, do not look at this needle). Jenn drove quickly to my house where Dan administered the injection (only 15 minutes late) and we returned to scrapbooking.

Jenn took some pics, so I'll put them up here when she sends them to me.

So far, feeling alright. I'm sore. Moody. Crabby. Emotional. Tired. :) But, I'm making it and that's all that matters right now. :)

Implant Info

The implant went fine. They implanted both embryos. Dr. Robins said it's a 50% chance of implanting resulting in pregnancy and a little less of a chance of a live birth. This has totally thrown me. I would have asked them to put in three had I known that it was such a low chance of success. Apparently I wasn't clear enough in my expectations.

So now we wait. I think you can probably guess that I'm extremely scared. This was rough and I'm not sure if I can do it again. I'm not feeling optimistic about my chances, so I'm trying to be realistic instead.

The boys now know that they put "eggs" in my tummy. This is the best we could do as they would really like to have a jumping match on me while I'm lying in bed. Now, we are keeping them from family for a couple days until their comments wear off. I think once I get up more and am not so bed-ridden, they will relax about it.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. That's what we need at this point. We do a pregnancy test on September 3rd. The time that IVF didn't work, I knew going into that blood draw. The time with the boys, I had absolutely no clue. I'll just hope that I remain clueless! :)

Pre-Transfer Update

It's 9:03 AM. My transfer will be at 10:00 AM this morning. We go the call at 8:00 this morning, so we've been scrambling to get things together. The boys are currently being carted over to Kim and Greg's (whom they love) for some fun play while we head down. I just started drinking my 32 oz of water in 15 minutes. No peeing until 25 minutes after the transfer. This ought to be interesting. It was super hard last time, I can only imagine what it will be like now after having 2 kids!

The embryologist thawed out 2 embryos and he said they look great. HOORAY! We are totally excited and freaking out at the same time. I had a bowl of cereal at about 7:30 and it's now threatening to come back up. YIKES! :)

Wish us luck!

Transfer is Tomorrow!

So my appointment this morning went really well. I got there at 6:40 AM figuring I'd be the only patient there, but I was wrong. I was third in line and after I re-seated myself after the blood draw it was standing room only! PHEW! My appointments are super fast, the ultrasound takes less than 2 minutes, so I get to skate out of there pretty fast!

I got the call after church while getting doughnuts in Albertsons that my transfer is indeed tomorrow. I still do not have a time, which is frustrating, but they'll call me in the morning and tell me to start drinking my water and come in. Good thing we have good friends who'll watch the boys at a moments notice! As far as I know, they'll put in 2-3 embryos. They asked my preference (while standing in Albertsons) and I wasn't sure how to respond. I told them that it depended on embryo quality but I wanted the best chance for success no matter how many had to go in. Scary thought!!!! :)

I will not be updating this for the next couple days...SORRY! I will be flat on my back. I think they say only to do it one day but the overachiever in me is staying down for two days to ensure success. Dan will be home from work. Because I'll be bored out of my mind with no computer access and stuck in bed with no cable tv, I'll probably write something out for Dan to get on here and type.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anticipation is building...

It seems so exciting and scary that we are only a couple days away! I think I must be way more relaxed than last time totally due to having the boys, but my nerves are starting to really work overtime now that the transfer is getting closer!

Tonight is the first night that not telling our families actually interfered. Tonight was game night with Dan's family. We had to make an exit at 8:30 PM (saying the boys needed to go to bed) to get home in time to warm up the injection (and bum) and do the shot in time. Oh well, next time we'll stay and play! :)

Tonight's injection was by far the best. Not a single part of it hurt. I feel like I'm walking a little funny because the last three injections have really put a burn on my backside muscles, but hopefully my body is getting better and more use to them so I'll lose the pain shortly...here's to hoping!

I have an appointment in the morning, hopefully I'll have good information to share!

At the top is a picture of my night time regimen as well as a picture of the needle used...ouch!!

Day #3 of Progesterone Injections

Rough! Tonight's injection took place at our good friends house. Suzy was nice enough to take pictures of the injection for us. It takes a few times of photographing injections to get each moment, so you'll see me add more as time goes on.

My mom stopped by unannounced today. I had to hurriedly hide my box of medicine and syringes. Thomas kept trying to lift my shirt to show my mom all my injection marks and bruises from the Sub-Q injections. Nice. I was able to keep my shirt down and tried to translate Thomas' remarks to say that I had spider bites (which I do, but that's not what he was trying to share). :)

Can you believe only 3 more days until the transfer? It kind of feels like coming home...those babies will be coming home to the uterus that will be their home for 40 weeks (let's hope). As you can tell, I'm getting excited. This time becomes the roller coaster of anxiety and worry combined with hope and excitement.

**Camera permanently broken right now, trust me, we'll get another one quickly...today or tomorrow. :)

Either I'm A Wuss Or These Shots Hurt!

I'm not sure which it is. I don't have a high thresh-hold for pain. However, my backside still hurts today, so I'm not sure which way it is! The actual poking of the needle last night went great. It's the medicine going in that hurts. It's medicine based in sesame oil, so it's REALLY thick! Dan heats it in his hands for 5 minutes before drawing it up hoping to make it warmer and a little more fluid. I use the heating pad before and after to loosen up the muscle and let the medicine try and work through a little better. Overall injection...not bad. Feeling today...it hurts! :) I just tell myself, hopefully I GET to continue these shots (only continue if I am pregnant) for 8 more weeks! :)

BTW---Pictures coming. A note for the readers. If you leave your camera outside overnight and it happens to have a random downpour in the middle of summer...your camera will no longer function. This sucks. I will have some friends take pictures tomorrow night, e-mail them to me and then post them.

Let The Ugliness Begin

There IS something to be said about going through this for the 3rd time. I have my favorite nurses and doctors who know me and when we greet it's with hugs and hellos. This is the most comforting feeling ever. Today I had my favorite nurse Karen. I know the people in the waiting room must thing I'm crazy because I smile when they call my name and we all shout and hug and then I'm smiling when I return. Those poor 1st timers have no idea!

My results today were fantastic! My lining of my uterus is up to a 10. This apparently is great news. She (my nurse Nina) said I'm right on schedule! Hooray!!! I am set for transfer of embryos on Monday, which seems to be coming really soon!

Tonight begins the yucky shots. The intramuscular shots are hard. Even the nurses were grimacing when they asked if I had any questions about what came next. I had them draw circles on my back to show where to give injections at. I'll have Dan or Jenn take a picture so you can see my lovely backside.

Here's my new drug regimen:

7 AM- 3 pills (one new one)
7 PM- 3 pills (that I've been doing), plus 2 new pills
9 PM- Dan sticks needle in my backside

The Last Injection I Give Myself...Ever????

Tonight was a milestone. Hopefully it's my last night of injecting myself. You would think that this time around it would be easier and that because of my excess stomach skin I would have plenty of room. Apparently not. My stomach is full of little dots from injection sites and I've pretty much run out of room. I've got a few bruises where I've hit veins, but all-in-all, not bad. I'm glad to be done with this phase though.

Tomorrow I have an ultrasound and blood draw to confirm that I'm on track. My numbers were a little off, so I've been extremely anal about taking my medication at the exact right MOMENT. It's hard! Dan is getting nervous (as am I) about the injections that begin tomorrow. A friend asked, "Is it easier knowing what's coming or harder?" My answer was, "The first injection that I had to give myself was way easier this time. I knew exactly how to do it and knew it wouldn't hurt. The injections coming up (that Dan gives me) will be extremely hard. They hurt. I know they hurt. That part is harder."

I have my heating pad ready for my rear, so hopefully being prepared pays off. These are the fun shots with the fun stories. If you enjoyed any of the last injection stories, prepare yourself! :)

Ultrasound and Blood Draw

Today's appointment was fast and easy. Sometimes I wish they were a little bit slower so I could get more into my People magazine. Instead I'm stuck trying to find the same issue week after week so that I can pick up where I left off! :)

My results came back a little off today. Unfortunately, Dan talked to the nurse instead of me so I'm hearing everything second hand. My FHS (I think) levels are off (I believe a little elevated). This has something to do with my injections. So far, they've instructed me to continue following my calendar (which upped my meds today) and come back on Wednesday for my next appointment. Hopefully all goes well. Next Wednesday is the projected start day for Dan to start giving me injections. I think HE'S getting woozy at the thought of that! :)

My new regimen:

7 AM- 2 pills
2 PM- 2 pills
7 PM- 3 pills, 1 injection

My body is obviously fighting this which makes me nervous. It's something I'll speak to my nurse about if it continues next week. I'm no longer hungry, and when I am it really upsets my stomach. I have mild cramping of my ovaries (sad that I can pinpoint this by now). I am exhausted! I think most of these are really normal, but elevated due to having 2 1/2 year old twins at home. We'll see!!!!

Ultrasound and Blood Draw

Much better blood draw this time. She didn't pierce down to the bone, so it was much more comfortable. :) The ultrasound went well. My favorite nurse, Karen, was there as was Doctor Robins. They are my dream team, seriously know all the right words at the right time. The ultrasound showed that everything is progressing normally. I upped my Estrace (I believe it's estrogen), continue my baby aspirin, and continue the injections. So far it's 2 pills in the AM; 3 pills and an injection in the PM. So far so good. In 2 weeks time, hopefully I'll be good and knocked up!

Oh yeah, my pills and injections are putting me a little on the cranky side this week. Sorry to anyone who took the brunt of my aggression. Some days I'm a little sensitive! It doesn't really bother me, but it really comes flying out!

First Ultrasound/Blood Draw

August 8th was my first ultrasound/blood draw of the series. Have I told you yet that I hate needles? And, they never change the artwork there, so I'm stuck staring at the same point on the wall, week after week. Note to those phlebotomists, reading this...change the artwork on your walls!!!

The ultrasound was the same as I remember it. Did you know that when you are getting something done "down there" and you need to take off everything waist down, you can keep your socks on? This is a trick I learned during my first series. It gives me a little sense of power when they say to take it all off and I ask if I can keep my socks on. In fact, I take a special pair with me every time.

Everything looks good. One of my ovaries has a follicle in it that is good sized. Darn it! Why can't I produce those when I'm suppose to? Now they're trying to suppress my ovaries, and I've got good stuff in there! ARG! She (the substitute for Dr. Robins) said it shouldn't be an issue. I'm sure they'll check it again tomorrow.

So far, everything looks good. They added Estrace tablets (one at 7 AM, 7PM) and a baby aspirin (at 7 PM) to my injection at 7 PM. Nothing like trying to remember exactly what is suppose to go in at what time!!!

I've done well keeping quiet around the family. Boy is it hard! I think Dan is having a harder time than I am. I keep thinking about that moment when we announce and the great look on their faces. I can't wait!!!

Please, keep us in your prayers! We are nervous, excited, anxious, and just plain scared!

And So It Continues...

The injections continue. I forgot how hard this is! My hormones are totally screwed right now. I'm an emotional mess. Don't freak out if I start crying on you in the middle of a conversation. I think the first days of injections I was excited and anxious. That feeling has since passed and the injections are starting to sting. I think it's partly because the medicine I inject in is cold, and my stomach is starting to get sensitive from repeated poking. My hair started falling out yesterday. It won't all fall out (at least it didn't last time), but I get clumps from here and there. It's interesting when it grows back because it grows back different. I have a wave in the middle of my hair that hopefully I'll lose again. I use to be totally blond with straight hair. Maybe I'll get that back this time!!! Probably not...it'll probably come back gray knowing my luck! Also, none of my pants fit anymore. I have one skirt left that I can wear. Luckily, my friend Jenn is loaning me some clothes for the duration, then hopefully I can just go into maternity wear. My stomach is totally bloated from all the drugs. I can see why my brain made me forget this in order to make it possible to go back and do it again.

Now, I don't mean to come off totally pessimistic. This is just one rough day, I know there will be more. And really, some days are totally fine. Just don't expect me to break out in a jig!