Saturday, September 13, 2008

Waiting A Week

I'm pretty sure we've decided to wait until after next week's appointment to tell our families. When we tell our families, I want to be able to be fully invested and excited. At this point, I'm being told that there is still a good chance that the pregnancy is not viable, so I need to remain guarded.

Dan confided in me yesterday that he's pretty worried about me. We had a long talk and he felt better. I explained to him that this is my way of coping. I cannot get too excited about this. If that happens, and it's negative, I will fall deep into depression, and want to do another series immediately. That is not possible with Dan getting laid off and our current situation. As of this point, I am guardedly excited. If this doesn't work, I will be ok. I will obviously need to go through some sort of grieving, but I know that we have other things to focus on in our lives. And we can go through it again and do it at another time when the timing is better. If it's a positive appointment next week, I'll be fully in and there will be no stopping the emotions then! After this conversation, Dan felt better and kind of knew more of where I am coming from.

I don't think anyone can truly understand how difficult this is, unless you've been there. You can feel your body, you know exactly what is going on. This is difficult for either someone who has never gone through this, or the spouse going through it but not able to feel it.

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