Ultrasound

Well, by the grace of God, the little peanut is in there! She (and I say she because with this much hassle it must be a girl) is looking good, for the most part. The egg sac and yolk are all in good shape. It's a little small still, so there are still some concerns. I go back next Friday and I think they should be able to see the heartbeat, and they'll check my levels again to make sure it's growing in numbers properly. I just about broke down with Dr. Robins when leaving the exam room. He put his hand on my shoulder and reassured me that sometimes this is just the way with frozen embryos. Sometimes they are a little funky. He did say that sometimes they do just fine and sometimes they are just not quite right and won't make it, so it's still a wait and see. ARG! I hate waiting! For now, I'll just rest up and hope it helps. Not sure if we'll tell family now or wait until next week.

The Roller Coaster Ride of a Lifetime

Seriously. I've never been this emotional in my whole life. My appointment this morning was so long and drawn out. Usually I get there at 6:30 AM to get my blood drawn and am out by 6:40 AM. Today, they didn't even start drawing blood until 7:20 AM. So I sat there forever in misery thinking about the outcome of this blood draw.

My favorite nurse Karen just called. My numbers are so close to doubling, but just not quite enough. This means that the journey continues for at least one more day. They said the frozen embryos sometimes are weird about getting started and doubling right away. ARG! I go in tomorrow to make sure that the embryo is implanted in the uterus. This has been a worry of mine. I guess I'll have another update tomorrow now!

Bloodwork Results

My bloodwork came back unfavorable today. My numbers increased but did not double. This is scary and bad. I go back in 4 days to see what the issue is. The nurse gave me two possibilities: 1) I was carrying twins and lost one, so that's why the number is down, or 2) it's not a viable pregnancy. Obviously we are hoping for option #1, but have to wait 4 days to see anything. This is rough.

Spotting Update

Ok, the spotting has ceased. I was even pretty active today and it seems to have stopped, so I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'll still have my blood drawn tomorrow morning just to make sure, but I'm happy it stopped. I know that many many women spot during their pregnancies. I'm not sure how all those women do it! I do feel like my stakes are a little bit higher because if this doesn't work, I'm just out $4,000 for this try and out another 4K for the next try. The majority of women just get to try the next month for free! :) That being said, it's still scary and unnerving! I think I'm just a worry-wart when I'm pregnant. I thought this time would be different, but in many respects it's not. I will say that I have been taking warm showers. When pregnant with the boys I took cool showers, not even warm, and it was miserable. But I am so anal about keeping my body temperature consistent. I'm happy that I'm able to move to warm showers this time! :)

Today Dan had his Guard Squadron Picnic. It's always a lot of fun and I love his friends and their wives too. We always have a good time talking and visiting! I really got to know the majority of them right before I got pregnant with the boys, so I've been able to watch their kids grow too. It was really weird to have them all saying congratulations and how do I feel. We really REALLY need to tell our families. It just doesn't feel real. I think I'm still a little in awe that it's actually true and I'm scared to be too excited.

Dan is freaking out that I still want it to be twins. I realized that a large portion of this thought is that I'm already always starving. Always. I have eaten more meat in the last 2 days than in the last 3 months (emergency stops to McD's for a Big Mac...unusual, and a stop at Burger King for 2 Whoppers....very unusual since I usually HATE BK). I think if it's twins, it would make me feel a little bit better about my crazy eating habits. :) Plus, I would have an excuse to move into maternity clothes sooner because even my size up clothes loaned to me from friends are getting tight (and the injection sites are extremely sore and swollen, so I can't really wear pants or shorts too easily without really being uncomfortable).

I'll update with my bloodwork results tomorrow. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, and kind words. You guys are a great support network!

Spotting and Blood Draw

I started spotting last night and continued it this morning. I had a scheduled blood draw, so I just awaited the bad news. Normally I get the call between 7:30-9:00 AM with my results. When the results didn't come I was sure that they were negative and my nurse was trying to figure out how to tell me. Finally I called and talked with her. My results were fine. My numbers doubled and everything is looking good. So, apparently for now I'm spotting. But, it could turn into something more and I could still lose them.

I will tell you that I've been an emotional wreck since last night and that has not stopped yet. Hormones? Yes. Freaked out? Yes. I never spotted when I was pregnant with the boys so this is totally freaking me out.

Negative Nellie

I didn't realize how positive I was that the results would be negative that I had convinced myself completely. Last night at dinner, I realized that it was 7:06 PM and my alarm reminding me to take my pills hadn't turned off. Looking at my phone, I remembered that just before my blood draw I was completely down and had turned off all alarms, so sure I'd not need them anymore. SAD!

I still have a lot of apprehension and just want to get to that first ultrasound next Friday to find out how many and where they are implanted. It's one of my favorite ultrasounds! :) I'll post an update with the results of my blood draw tomorrow! Wish me luck!

The Results Are In

When my nurse called I could've told you with 80% confidence that the test would be negative.

She totally threw me for a loop when she told me it was....POSITIVE!!!!! WOW! I'm extremely shocked at this point. I go in on Friday to see if the HcG numbers have doubled (she said my number is 74 so she's confident that I'll get good results on Friday).

I'm heading in today to have her check my injection sites as they are bothersome right now. My backside is all lumpy and sensitive and itchy because the injection sites are so irritated.

We are well on our way to success, but we have about 6 weeks of scariness before we can loosen up a bit. I'm still a little worried that my body is fighting it. Please continue your prayers....you are doing wonders!!! Thanks for all your support, it's been really helpful!